Tally of Damages to My Room by Hugo, During His Unauthorised Occupation of My Room While I Was In China

Lighters found: 7 (all spent)

Copies of Fahrenheit 451 that he cut up the cover of to make joint filters: 1 (really not as clever as he thinks, given that he couldn't tell me what happens at the end)

Badly-made bongs: 2

Valium stolen: > 50mg

Bags of old McDonalds: > 3 - removed by parents before I arrived

Leather covers of old diaries ripped out and nowhere to be found: 1

Diaries read: I don't want to think about it

Surf magazines: 13

Magazines about wood (non-euphemistic): 2

Magazines about wood (euphemistic): 0 (so far)

Coins: 40c