I don't know how to preface this, except to say that I was an obnoxious, weird child and also a bit of a class clown. It was this strange mix of being the clueless "blonde" and actually being very sardonic, which seems paradoxical, but as Montaigne said, "man is a dialectic of antithetical qualities". Anyway, one of the culminations of the latter was by intense criticism of Singapore and its education system and entertainment industry. I go a little bit into why this was, psychologically, here. But I feel like I'm using fancy words to just gas up being precocious.
What I'm trying to set up is the fact that one day in Geography class, where our teacher Mrs Fam was a lil crazy and we never really learnt anything, I decided to actually to something productive with the time. A few days before, I had been in another class' classroom for Chinese class because our teacher was sick or something, and had seen the funny drawings and cartoons a girl from that class, Jaime Goh, had done and stuck up on the corkboard at the back if the classroom. This had really inspired me - I resolved to, too, be creative and make content for the class.
And so, in this pivotal Geography waste of time, I decided to write a parody news article. I had been laughing a few weeks before at the fact that the Singapore government constantly comes out with new - and often conflicting - campaigns. I'd read about them in the Straits Times every day. I was particularly bemused by their campaigns about language, which affected national identity, a deep concern. First, there was the "Speak Good English" movement (SGEM), encouraging Singaporeans to stop using Singlish (which I detested at the same time, but have now realised is a very valid creole that arose from pidgin.) Then, shortly after, there was the "Speak Mandarin" campaign (SMC) - encouraging Chinese Singaporeans to speak Mandarin instead of their native Chinese dialects. To me, a naïve 13-year-old, these seemed very conflicting - which, I suppose, they are, if you don't take into account Singapore's ethnic minorities (ie non-Chinese). Fittingly, there's now a movement to try and preserve these native Chinese dialects in Singapore, because they're dying out. The whole government-controlled language policy thing is really interesting - there's a whole wikipedia page about it, if you're interested.
I used this irony to create a histrionic scenario. Here it is, the first edition of The Sarcasm Times, a not-so-subtle dig at the Straits Times:
I stuck it on the corkboard next to our whiteboard, and my classmates loved it, and asked for more. I started churning them out, often staying behind in class at recess time to write. I upped my output to twice a week, and got really burnt out - as you'll see from a sharp decline in quality.
After I had "published" the first few editions, a friend and classmate of mine, Claire Seah, came to me with a proposition. She really liked what I was doing, and wanted in, but anonymously, taking the pseudonym "Feint", after the brand of foolscap paper we used in class. To be honest, she didn't really do much, and was fine on my own, but I felt like I had to say yes, so I did, with not much artistic impact. I do love Claire, and I think she's a seriously smart girl. We both loved Green Day (but I'll get into that if I ever talk about my second concert ever), and at one point she had planned to write an Animal Farm political satire play called Dookie that I was to act in, the name being a reference to the Green Day album (such lofty ambitions we had!). My prediction is that Claire will go into creative business management - that's her strong point.
The Sarcasm Times travelled! My classmates waited eagerly for every new 'edition', even gathering around in the morning before school when I would pin it up. Mr Cosgriff, our new history teacher (yes! A white teacher! It was ALL the talk of the school), enjoyed reading them, except for the time I used the term "wanker" - that wasn't really a word in Singapore, being more of a British/ANZ slang, but he knew what it meant and made me scribble it out haha. Word has it that our school principal would come in after school to read it - which is a little awkward, because sometimes I'd satirise and make fun of the school and its teachers and administration. And, as a nice full circle, I noticed that Jaime Goh started doing something very similar in her classroom, which made me both honoured and indignant.
[I don't expect anyone to read all these, by the way. I just really like documentation.]
The end of the Sarcasm Times came at the end of the year. I was moving to a new school that was a special Integrated Programme which meant I didn't have to do the O-levels, and could go straight into Junior College.
As a last, delightful surprise though, Mr Cosgriff ("Stumpy") one day snuck in and stuck up his own version of the Sarcasm Times! It was all very cute and bittersweet.
Interestingly, 2 years later, the Sarcasm Times helped me get a week internship/job-shadowing (it was called the Female Executive Shadowing Programme, and my teacher had a plug) at Channel Nine, where I was helping with the development of STAN, the Australian contender for Netflix.
What I'm trying to set up is the fact that one day in Geography class, where our teacher Mrs Fam was a lil crazy and we never really learnt anything, I decided to actually to something productive with the time. A few days before, I had been in another class' classroom for Chinese class because our teacher was sick or something, and had seen the funny drawings and cartoons a girl from that class, Jaime Goh, had done and stuck up on the corkboard at the back if the classroom. This had really inspired me - I resolved to, too, be creative and make content for the class.
And so, in this pivotal Geography waste of time, I decided to write a parody news article. I had been laughing a few weeks before at the fact that the Singapore government constantly comes out with new - and often conflicting - campaigns. I'd read about them in the Straits Times every day. I was particularly bemused by their campaigns about language, which affected national identity, a deep concern. First, there was the "Speak Good English" movement (SGEM), encouraging Singaporeans to stop using Singlish (which I detested at the same time, but have now realised is a very valid creole that arose from pidgin.) Then, shortly after, there was the "Speak Mandarin" campaign (SMC) - encouraging Chinese Singaporeans to speak Mandarin instead of their native Chinese dialects. To me, a naïve 13-year-old, these seemed very conflicting - which, I suppose, they are, if you don't take into account Singapore's ethnic minorities (ie non-Chinese). Fittingly, there's now a movement to try and preserve these native Chinese dialects in Singapore, because they're dying out. The whole government-controlled language policy thing is really interesting - there's a whole wikipedia page about it, if you're interested.
I used this irony to create a histrionic scenario. Here it is, the first edition of The Sarcasm Times, a not-so-subtle dig at the Straits Times:
After I had "published" the first few editions, a friend and classmate of mine, Claire Seah, came to me with a proposition. She really liked what I was doing, and wanted in, but anonymously, taking the pseudonym "Feint", after the brand of foolscap paper we used in class. To be honest, she didn't really do much, and was fine on my own, but I felt like I had to say yes, so I did, with not much artistic impact. I do love Claire, and I think she's a seriously smart girl. We both loved Green Day (but I'll get into that if I ever talk about my second concert ever), and at one point she had planned to write an Animal Farm political satire play called Dookie that I was to act in, the name being a reference to the Green Day album (such lofty ambitions we had!). My prediction is that Claire will go into creative business management - that's her strong point.
The Sarcasm Times travelled! My classmates waited eagerly for every new 'edition', even gathering around in the morning before school when I would pin it up. Mr Cosgriff, our new history teacher (yes! A white teacher! It was ALL the talk of the school), enjoyed reading them, except for the time I used the term "wanker" - that wasn't really a word in Singapore, being more of a British/ANZ slang, but he knew what it meant and made me scribble it out haha. Word has it that our school principal would come in after school to read it - which is a little awkward, because sometimes I'd satirise and make fun of the school and its teachers and administration. And, as a nice full circle, I noticed that Jaime Goh started doing something very similar in her classroom, which made me both honoured and indignant.
[I don't expect anyone to read all these, by the way. I just really like documentation.]
The end of the Sarcasm Times came at the end of the year. I was moving to a new school that was a special Integrated Programme which meant I didn't have to do the O-levels, and could go straight into Junior College.
Interestingly, 2 years later, the Sarcasm Times helped me get a week internship/job-shadowing (it was called the Female Executive Shadowing Programme, and my teacher had a plug) at Channel Nine, where I was helping with the development of STAN, the Australian contender for Netflix.
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