It’s relevant that I’m writing this now, because I’m currently travelling: I’m in Hainan, an island south of mainland China. It’s still part of China, of course - I’m not allowed to leave the country. But I am not travelling alone here, and that has made me realise that the points I had prepared for this blog post were mostly only relevant to traveling alone.
Having (social) anxiety doesn’t mean travelling alone is easy, just because you’re not socialising with friends you’re travelling with. For me at least, the anxiety is everywhere - it’s the people on the street looking at you because you’re different, it’s the light and the noise and the crowds that make me want to curl up in bed in the dark and never get out again, it’s the instability in a lack of routine. And here are some ways I have found to make travelling less daunting when you are like me.
Podcasts / Audiobooks
Sometimes, being in new places is really anxiety-inducing, and it doesn’t help when you’re walking in silence and your mind can race through all the anxious thoughts. So i find it really helpful to listen to a podcast or audiobook that can distract me while keeping my eyes free to look around. I prefer podcasts, because you know the people talking, and it’s a safe familiar environment.
The disadvantage is of course that in some places the aural environment is really important - the crow of birds or the whine of insects or the locals’ cadences makes the experience whole. In these cases, I’ll turn off my podcast for a while, take it all in until I get the idea, and then go back to the safety in my brain.
Leave Early
I don’t mean leave your room early in the morning - fuck that, leave whenever you like. I mean to leave whatever site you’re at prematurely. Usually, you’ll go out to see someplace, and you’ll stay there till you’ve had enough of it, and then you’re exhausted at the next place, or on the way home, and the anxiety fills you up and you suddenly want to go home and slit your wrists (this happens to me, at least). So, if you leave a place when you feel like you still have some exploring left in you, you’ll have energy for the next thing you’re doing, and don’t spiral into exhaustion-bred suicidal ideation.
Know Your Time Limit
You reach a point where you’re just completely sick of travelling, and feel like you’ve got no energy left to face the unknown every single day. Two years ago, after being in Japan for three weeks, I discovered that my limit is 2 weeks. After that, everything kind of blurs, and I make silly mistakes and never actually end up achieving anything. I guess you just have to figure it out by trial and error, really.
Take it Day by Day
When I was in Italy for two weeks with my cousin Emily, every day felt so long. I was enjoying myself, but that enjoyment was under a shroud of anxiety. I kept thinking, “I don’t know how I’m going to be able to do 2 weeks of this. I still have X days.” I posted something along those lines on my story, and my friend Eleanor replied that you’ve got to take it day by day - don’t think about how many more days are left, just focus on that day in isolation. It helps with the angst. And you know what? Every day the anxiety shroud reduced.
I hope this was somewhat useful. I know that it might feel like some of these are cheating on the "spirit" of travelling - being immersed in the culture, constantly on the go, etc etc etc. But those are just stereotypes. And, at the end of the day, if it's between living up to the wanderlust expectation of travelling and burning out and never travelling again because it was awful, and lots of lighter trips that don't kill you, which is better?
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